“If you haven’t had someone ask you better questions, I’d encourage you to spend some time around people whose life you admire and give them permission to ask you tough questions." Christian Elliot
The following seems like such a simple statement, doesn’t it?: “It’s the small daily choices we make that affect our health.” It’s hardly an emotional proclamation. It can be said with such logical certainty, yet why is the process of lifestyle change one of the most emotional journeys we can take? Perhaps it is so because it can be such a long journey with twists, turns and disappointments, or perhaps it is emotional because trying to change forces us to face ourselves:
- our limitations
- our deeper motivators
- our excuses
- our past
- our daily behaviors
- our coping mechanisms
- the things we’d rather not give up
Few people, myself included, revel in the idea of facing our deficiencies and going through the grinding discipline of overcoming them. Yet, there is a parallel truth to change—change is the other reality besides death and taxes that is certain in life. And if change is most definitely going to come, then darn it all, why not be proactive about it and do our best to have change lead us in a positive direction? Why sit back and let the change brought about by neglect or inaction be the driver of the state of health we end up with? Why not face the change process head on?
Change is Not Easy.
Here’s one of the most honest and unpopular things I sometimes say to new people when they come to our business: Change is NOT easy. I admit, it’s terrible marketing, but it’s true. Almost every time, change is harder and takes longer than we expect. That’s a hard sell, (we don’t lead with it)…but guess what honesty does? It sets people up with better expectations. It makes them more interested in asking better questions.
And there is magic in better questions!
Better questions help people see the big picture. They accelerate learning. They short-circuit disappointments. They help chart a clear path through what was once a confusing mass of options. Better questions allow us to foresee obstacles, and help us develop a philosophy to deal with the inevitable glitches of life. If you haven’t had someone ask you better questions, I’d encourage you to spend some time around people whose life you admire and give them permission to ask you tough questions.
Life is Hard.
The news flash that occurred to me some years ago is that life is hard. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but OK…got it. Now what? Life is hard, yes. As Jim Rohn said, life is “opportunity mixed with difficulty.” The ratio of those two realities will ebb and flow, but the mix is not going to change. Asking better questions helps you get a more favorable mix.
Invest the emotion in your own story, instead…
In our quick fix, short attention span (please ignore that alert you just got on your phone and continue reading) society, we like to save long emotional journeys for binge watching the latest hit show, not for becoming a new person with all new habits. But I challenge you, why not invest that emotion in your own story instead of living someone else’s? I did…I just wrote this. What could you do if you turned off your TV and phone?
Success Leaves Clues.
Over the next several weeks I’ll be rolling out my “Top 7 reason why you’ve not reached your health and fitness goals.” It’s a series I’m been musing on for a while and it’s designed to help you ask better questions. My hope is to take my experience the last 12 years observing the differences between people who actually make the changes they are craving and the majority who do not. Success leaves clues, and I want to do my best to show you the clues I’ve found. I hope you find them inspiring and helpful. See you next week!